I don't think... you need to be fine right away. Sometimes it won't be, right? And all you wanna do is sleep, until it stops hurting so badly. I think... that would be okay.
[ She knows it's not the healthiest way of coping with things, but it was all Taiga knew--that and lashing out at others, but Ryoko was never that kind of person. She was caring to a fault, and it's not lost on Taiga that the one time Ryoko does something for herself... this is the result. No wonder it was so difficult for her. ]
No one would be mad. I'd make sure they understood.
[ Nodding, Ryoko just kind of buries her head into her knees. She knows that she won't do that, that she has to keep herself busy or despair'll actually set in. She doesn't know what that would entail for her specifically, but she doesn't want to be listless, hurt, unavailable.
She won't be fine right away, she knows it. She even wanted to assuage Taiga's worry about her, the usual way. Making sure they understood...
That almost sounds like a threat.
Instead, all that really comes out is a choked out-- ]
Aisaka-san--
[ Why? Why would she go that far for her, when she didn't deserve that kind of protection? This was something that she would understand if those close to Fauna, those in the ADA-- especially someone who probably wasn't fond of her that much to begin with like Akutagawa-- wanted nothing to do with her anymore.
[ It sounds like a threat because Taiga still can't express herself in a more elegant manner, after all these years. If anyone wanted to hate Ryoko for this, it felt like her duty to prevent them from getting close to Ryoko again. That kind of solution was easier, more effective than anything else she'd come up with. ]
...Don't worry, I'm not gonna pick any fights.
[ She sighs, expression shifting to concern as she watches Ryoko. It felt unnatural to see her like this. ]
You don't have to keep talking if you don't wanna... I won't mind.
[ Not talking was probably what got her in this mess in the first place. In fact, there were a lot of problems Ryoko had that ultimately led to this. Her first relationship, ended because she didn't want to hurt the other person's feelings long term.
Here she was, yet again, dumping all of her emotional baggage onto Taiga. ]
S...Sorry. I've put you through a lot lately.
[ Even before they got here. Ironically, Ryoko's feeling like she's the burden. ]
I get it, if you want to want to leave me here to stew for a while. I'll completely understand-- I'm not very fun like this.
[ She's the one causing all the trouble. It's pointless to try and convince Ryoko of that, so Taiga steers around the topic. ]
I just don't want to be making you think and talk about things if it'd make it worse. It'd piss me off... I dunno. I guess you don't really get angry much. But I don't care about you being fun or not.
We could talk about whatever... Don't people always talk about the weather, when they wanna talk but don't wanna say anything?
[ A soft laugh. That sounds like one of the most miserable conversation topics Taiga's ever heard, if she were to be honest. But if it helped, she'd suck it up. ]
[ Taiga breaks out into a smile at the mention of Christmas. It had been so long since she'd thought about the holiday; there were too many other things to worry about in Nyoi-cho after her first attempt at celebrating. ]
The cold is part of the holidays! Do you think... [ Should she get her hopes up? ] You think we could celebrate Christmas this year?
Of course we can. I don't know that anyone particularly celebrates it here, but we could always bring it up to everyone else. We'll make Christmas count this year.
[ A light smile on her end. Christmas sounded important to Taiga before, and they both ended up miserable at the end of the season. One more chance to make that better, and to actually celebrate... she'd help in any way she could to make that happen. ]
Mmm... that'd mean a lot to me. Even if people don't know, it's fun to celebrate things. Maybe we could even do gifts? It doesn't have to be anything super fancy, but it'd be fun...
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[ She knows it's not the healthiest way of coping with things, but it was all Taiga knew--that and lashing out at others, but Ryoko was never that kind of person. She was caring to a fault, and it's not lost on Taiga that the one time Ryoko does something for herself... this is the result. No wonder it was so difficult for her. ]
No one would be mad. I'd make sure they understood.
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She won't be fine right away, she knows it. She even wanted to assuage Taiga's worry about her, the usual way. Making sure they understood...
That almost sounds like a threat.
Instead, all that really comes out is a choked out-- ]
Aisaka-san--
[ Why? Why would she go that far for her, when she didn't deserve that kind of protection? This was something that she would understand if those close to Fauna, those in the ADA-- especially someone who probably wasn't fond of her that much to begin with like Akutagawa-- wanted nothing to do with her anymore.
Every time, she wanted her to be safe. ]
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...Don't worry, I'm not gonna pick any fights.
[ She sighs, expression shifting to concern as she watches Ryoko. It felt unnatural to see her like this. ]
You don't have to keep talking if you don't wanna... I won't mind.
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Here she was, yet again, dumping all of her emotional baggage onto Taiga. ]
S...Sorry. I've put you through a lot lately.
[ Even before they got here. Ironically, Ryoko's feeling like she's the burden. ]
I get it, if you want to want to leave me here to stew for a while. I'll completely understand-- I'm not very fun like this.
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That's not it.
[ She's the one causing all the trouble. It's pointless to try and convince Ryoko of that, so Taiga steers around the topic. ]
I just don't want to be making you think and talk about things if it'd make it worse. It'd piss me off... I dunno. I guess you don't really get angry much. But I don't care about you being fun or not.
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[ ...not at Taiga.
No, that felt inappropriate to say, really. Navigating this was ridiculous, for the most part. ]
Mmm... I... I guess I could use time to think. I'm not... not really sure what to talk about, though.
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[ A soft laugh. That sounds like one of the most miserable conversation topics Taiga's ever heard, if she were to be honest. But if it helped, she'd suck it up. ]
It's up to you.
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It is going to get colder soon. Oh, you know, before we know it, it'll be Christmas again, won't it? I mean, it's still pretty far away, but...
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The cold is part of the holidays! Do you think... [ Should she get her hopes up? ] You think we could celebrate Christmas this year?
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[ A light smile on her end. Christmas sounded important to Taiga before, and they both ended up miserable at the end of the season. One more chance to make that better, and to actually celebrate... she'd help in any way she could to make that happen. ]
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[ No, she hasn't forgotten that. ]